Variations on the Stanky Legg

I am not a tech-savvy at risk youth and have no idea how to embed Facebook videos but this one comes to you straight from the dirty Pulaski featuring Honorary Fly Hunnie, Laurney Lou.

"stanky legg, dun rite"

Greenfield News and Hobby

I used to frequent News and Hobby as a youngin' with my dad where he would buy my sister and me Paint-By-Numbers and engraving foils (I made one of a wolf a little while ago and you better believe that badass going to be proudly hanging in my room next year).

Now that's what I'm talking about.

I also remember an abundance of Warheads were purchased since a) they were all the rage at HC Elementary, b) they are fucking tasty, and c) News and Hobby has a quality candy selection where you can buy Warheads by the pound if you so please. And please do.

On a quest for canvas and a new paintbrush I headed back to my old stomping grounds in an effort to both support local business and bring back a flood of nostalgia. The store is exactly the same as it was ten years ago. Cluttured with airplane models and ink pots, News and Hobby is half a little boy's wet dream, half a recreational artist's wet dream.

Look at this display. There are two dogs, an unconvincing deer, and a zebra in a goddamn truck. And see that inflatable dinosaur hanging from the ceiling? Just try and tell me this place isn't worth your time or money.

Lipstick

So I made a discovery: red lipstick tasted just like Red Vines.

This leads me to suspect that Red Vines just taste like dye.

Why not just wear lipstick instead of eating Red Vines, then?

I used to be a huge lover of lipstick, but somewhere along the line, I decided to be like everyone else and wear sheer glosses that sparkle and shine and make hair stick to my mouth.

What sticky lipgloss deserves:

I don't like those glosses very much. So I went for Burt's Bees Pomegranate lip balm, which has a nice tint to it. But sometimes, I just need that little extra POP.

That's where lipstick comes in.

It helps that lipstick has recently seen a resurgence in popularity among Fly Hunniez everywhere.

I feel a little retro, a little modern, and a lot sexy when I wear lipstick.

Who cares if no one notices? I notice.

And I imagine that I look like this:

Beyoncé Knowles

Sometimes I forget something I like for a while.
Tonight I remembered one: Beyoncé Knowles.

Beyoncé has pretty much everything going on. Her resumé reads like Lil Rail's best flyers:

Singer
Actress
Dancer
Designer
A-Lister
Married to an rapper (namely: Jay-Z)

Not only is she, like, insanely talented vocally, but she is also awesome. Seriously.

She's on the list of top ten people I would want to be. Maybe top five.

But check it. What girl doesn't want to be...

...classy and sexy...

...sweet and sexy...

... or a little bit crazy and sexy?

Want to know the answer? Come on. You know already.
Every girl wants to be like that.

She doesn't pull crazy tabloid shit.
She's responsible and knows what she wants.
(I am writing this after reading about her dreams for Broadway and about how she's waiting to have kids until she can be a responsible mother, not focused on her career.)
She's crazy-talented and has a distinct sound and style.
And last but not least, she's gorgeous. And hot.

From the time she was "jumpin' jumpin' " with Destiny's Child until her recent turn as Sasha Fierce, Beyoncé is essentially irreplaceable.

(P.S. If anyone knows where I can get a bra like the one she wears in the "Irreplaceable" video, let me know. I want it.)

The Boys

There is this crew of boys who tend to just be around. I'm not quite sure how I fell in with a group of such hooligans, but I guess they're okay.

William, Intensity, and Sam are classy dudes. Except Sam, who looked like the lovechild of Juno and a hoodrat today.

Will got a tattoo of the NMH aeroplane today. If you needed proof that he's a legitimate person to hang out with, that should be enough. Kid is legit. Also, he likes my sister's hamster. I also like my sister's hamster.

Sam had a long, interesting day today. I don't think I'm quite at liberty to tell the tale. Otherwise I would, since it describes Sam really well. We also sit together in our Physician in History lecture. I don't think either of us are totally sure what's going on in there at any point in time.

J. Ash really is classy. He was really sleepy since he stayed up incredibly late for no real reason yesterday with Intensity and I. John is really good at school, I think. Also, he was part of the monster truck fiasco, which makes him markedly cooler than many other people.


Pictured above is Brandon, aka Intensity. Intensity has really good taste in music and also wears some pretty sweet Chucks on a regular basis. Intensity is also our most dedicated blog reader, so big ups for that one, kid.

Thumbs up to these three and also Todd, who wasn't here this afternoon and so didn't get in the body of this post. Kid is cool, though, and I like him, too.